The title of my last blog post was ‘Change, urgh, so hard’, which in hindsight was a little negative…but true, right? Yup, unfortunately the reality of any change is that it often feels like you're on a freaking rollercoaster!
Your catalyst for change, that reason you’re wanting to do something differently is like strapping yourself in for the ride. You’ve queued, you’ve waited, you’re ready and you’re committed. The safety bar is down, your seatbelt is on. You’re excited for the ride and can’t wait to go. It’s going to be SO MUCH FUN….although it’s RARELY what you expect and it's definitely NOT always fun!
Here's how the change process usually plays out.
The cart starts to move slowly up the first hill. The hill definitely didn't look as scary while you were in the queue. What have you got yourself into? It's only the start and you're freaking out already! How are you going to get through this!?
You're at the top of the first hill and feel ready for the rush. You're holding on tight but you're excited...let’s do this!!
The cart starts to edge over the hill and picks up speed...quickly, Too quick. Slow down. Wait! Stop! I'm not ready for this!
I can't do this. This ride is too scary, too many loops, too many hills. TOO MUCH!
Well, I only have myself to blame for being on this stupid ride. Why the hell am I doing this for anyway? Why do I do this to myself? I’m an idiot! This is not fun AT ALL
Oh man, I feel sick, this is awful. I hate this, this is the worst, I’m an idiot…oh man, that’s a loop coming up, this suuuuuucks!
Let me off this god damn ride, I can't take it anymore!
This is ridiculous, who the hell makes a ride like this? What kind of sadistic twisted freak designs this in the name of ‘fun’? Why would anyone want to do this to themselves?
Alright, this is okay, I’m on the second loop of the rollercoaster, this isn’t so bad. I’m alright. Okay, this might be fun. I think I'm going to make it!
The end of this ride is coming up. That wasn’t so bad, in fact, it was pretty fun. Let’s do it again
We experience a myriad of these responses as we go through the process of change. We're up, we're down and sometimes, on those extra *special* days we're upside down!
So, what do you do about it?
The first step is to recognise where you are in the change process.
Last week I was in ‘anxiety’. Oh lord, this running a business thing is so hard, there’s so much to do and to think about it. Planning, marketing, social media, arghhh….SO. MUCH. STUFF. Yesterday I was in Fear. I need to get ‘The Wisdom Project’ cranking and I’m starting from scratch, again…arghh, can I really TRULY do this? Today, I’m in Happiness. I’ve ticked a lot of my list and I’m so excited to get this blog out there. I can DO THIS.
I also have every expectation I’ll be sliding down the other side silently screaming ‘what am I doinnnnngggggg’ soon enough...and you know what? That's totally FINE!
The second step is to know that this part of the ride will pass, you’ll move past it. You WILL move forward. Where you are right now on the ride is perfectly okay if you’ve got the tools to get through it. Which leads me to the third step.
...have a first aid kit with you at all times.
When you’re in each of these states, what can you do? What helps you get through the hositility? What can do you to help you overcome the fear? What is going to help you in that moment to move forward.
The final, and perhaps most important step is recognise when you’ve moved forward, when you’re happy and when things have started to ease. Look back and recognise the struggle, pat yourself on the back, celebrate your success and then summon the courage to get back in line for the next ride.
Looking forward to sitting next to you on the ride!
PS If you’re on the rollercoaster and you want to get off, or you’re not sure how to move forward please reach out. We still have a place or two available on the LEAP program that aims to address this very concept! www.krcoaching.com.au/leap